Friday 5 February 2016

The Good Grandma Scale

Grandma’s Briefs, The Nana Blogs, The GaGa sisterhood, Grammology….  Having been advised by the blogmeisters to peruse sites similar to my own, I’m overwhelmed and intimidated by what I read.

Who are these people?  What sweet pot of sticky toffee did they emerge from?  Is anyone really that nice? "7 Ways to Say Congratulations, You’re Going to be Grandparents” and “Another Ponytail Donated to Love", "Bonding Bragging and Benefits", "The Great Disneyland Adventure", "Fun Sandwiches".  I am way out of my depth here. 

I’ve never thought to make a brag book, and I forget to show off my iphone photos.  I don’t get coloring, and I’d sooner eat glass than go to Disneyland again.  My idea of a good time with my grand babies is sitting opposite their high chair laughing while we chew on bones and make rude noises.  Distractions consist of going outside to wander around or having them watch in-house Dogs and Cats TV.  Treats must have fibre.  They’ve never seen any cookies I’ve made for them because I ate them all. I avoid the new children's books because the authors sound like they're on crack. I forget to positively reinforce through praise and I’ve been known to use inappropriate language.  I have no tips on Nap Time other than the use of a full Nelson in the rocking chair and an extensive repertoire of nonsense songs. My baby proofing consists of picking up after the most recent fiasco. I rarely think to buy them presents, and I’m chronically short on clean bibs. I look forward to the time when they can help sort laundry and operate a mop.  Picking weeds in the garden is a life skill I can’t wait to teach.

In short, there is little to recommend me on the Good Grandma scale.

Except love.




3 comments:

  1. As the other grandmother of one, so far, I think the kids may be in big trouble. I didn't crawl out of a vat of sticky toffee either. I probably ate it. My best teaching thus far seems to be "no, that's the dog's food." We will love them, do crazy things with them, spoil them in our own ways and send them home where the parents do the tough stuff. It's much more fun to be a grandparent!

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    1. I'm encouraged by your post, Ann. Glad you're covering the "No that's the dog food" as it never occurred to me!

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